


What's the Problem, Baby? (What's the Problem? I Don't Know)

by KimliPan



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Retail, Customer Service & Tech Support, M/M, Modern AU, RST, Romantic Comedy, Technology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 02:56:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimliPan/pseuds/KimliPan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apple Store AU. Merlin works as a Genius at the Apple Store, and is a technical wizard at that. Arthur is an ornery customer with a bad hard drive he doesn’t feel like he should have to pay for. This story is what happens when awful customer service meets undesirable customers, and how friendship and more can spawn from that.</p><p>Grouchiness, banter, awkwardness, meddling friends and coworkers, and sexual tension all help to bring these two idiots together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's the Problem, Baby? (What's the Problem? I Don't Know)

**Author's Note:**

> I have never worked at an Apple store, but I’ve done tech support for Windows machines for almost 5 years now, and I worked in computer sales at Staples for three years! That said, some of the finer Apple nuances might be mistaken, but I got as close as I could just knowing what crabby computer-help customers are like. Thanks to the mods for running this! And to friends Jasie and Same for helping beta.
> 
> The title is a reference to the Counting Crows song "Accidentally In Love," perfect for any rom-com.
> 
> This is written as a fill for glomp-fest, with the prompt as follows:
> 
>  
> 
> _Apple store! AU. This doesn't seem to be a trope in fandom, if there are already such fics, would someone please let me know? Essentially, Merlin works at the Apple store/genius bar, and they have a 'meet cute' when Arthur goes in to fix his laptop. Cue Merlin being a technical wizard, Arthur being a grouch, banter around geeky topics, awkwardness, possibly meddling friends & coworkers etc - you get the idea! Just a fun, romcom kinda prompt, please no coming-out angst in my fantasy world of acceptance and no prejudice._
> 
>  
> 
> I used some of the prompt as the base for my summary, but I didn't get all of it down to a T. I hope you like it!

Arthur walked into the Apple store with his laptop on his fingertips like a platter, open and illuminated and thoroughly unusable. There were three so-called Geniuses at the bar: one mysterious-seeming bearded fellow; a tall bloke whose biceps threatened to tear his shirt; and a skinny boy, all cheekbones and ears, brooding on his phone. Unfortunately, the brooding one was the only one who was free, and he was on his way to the empty stool when some sales guy stopped him with a hairflip and an obnoxiously smarmy,

“Anything I can help you with, mate?”

Arthur fought not to roll his eyes. Instead, he gave a vague sigh and gestured generally to the Genius Bar, and walked right on past.

Upon closer inspection, Arthur could see the ‘brooding’ boy wasn’t really brooding it all; his expression just seemed clueless. Setting his Mac on the counter didn’t seem to be enough to get his attention, so Arthur gave a small cough, which the _Genius_ apparently chose to ignore.

What was this, he wondered? Some kind of test? What kind of establishment let their employees sit on their phones with a customer right in front of them? His eyes flicked down to the nametag hanging round his neck, _Merlin_ , and he noted it and wondered absently if everyone in the store had nicknames on their badges.

“There, Lance,” said the guy quite suddenly.

Arthur’s back stiffened at it - did Merlin think he was someone else? - and asked in a low, befuddled rush, “Pardon?”

Merlin looked up at Arthur with a start and shook his head, which reeled back in what Arthur realized was surprise. Even after all the noise Arthur had made, Merlin didn’t even know he was there! So much for attentive service, he thought, angrier than he was already about having to come to the store at all.

As the moment dragged on with the two of them looking at each other, Arthur felt inexplicably compelled to defend himself. “It won’t turn on,” he said, and Merlin seemed to get his bearings from that.

“Well, we’re not all perfect,” said Merlin under his breath as he turned away - _turned away!_ \- to pass the phone to his bearded coworker. “The app should work fine now,” he said quietly before turning back to Arthur, who didn’t even know where to begin feeling insulted.

Merlin didn’t miss a beat, however. He just held out his hand, gave a warm retail smile, and offered his name. “I’m Merlin.” As if Arthur had even asked. Used to business and networking and greeting people, however, Arthur was compelled to reach forward and take it.

“I’m Arthur.” The words came out numb, and when he took his hand back, he pressed it flat against his stomach, an unconscious attempt to wipe the shake away.

“Nice to meet you Arthur. What’s the problem today?”

The chipper melody in his voice deepened Arthur’s frown. It was such a scripted question, and it was obvious what the problem was. He took in a breath, let it out nice and slow, then said for the second time, his voice slow and deliberate,

“It won’t turn on.”

“Looks on to me,” Merlin said, flipping the laptop around to press a few buttons.

“Yes, well, my impression was that ‘on’ meant ‘ready for use’ and that big gray no in the middle of the screen tells me it’s not, so. It won’t turn on.” Merlin didn’t seem to be listening, though. His attention was on Arthur’s Mac, and he was pressing buttons and typing things slower than Arthur would have liked. There was a moment of silence, where Merlin was focused and Arthur shifted from foot to foot before he sat down on the stool. This definitely felt like a bad customer service experience, though he wasn’t sure how many things this Merlin was doing that were off policy.

“Well?” he asked, his voice steeped in tension and impatience.

The so-called genius responded with a mocking,“ _Well_.” Arthur rolled his eyes while Merlin moved closer and turned the laptop sideways for the both of them to see. “I was able to pull up the diagnostics,” he said. “My guess is a bad hard drive. While that’s running, I’ll take your information.”

It was a process, Arthur decided. Giving information, trying to understand information, all the while watching someone who was probably his own age or younger knowing more about this than he could even possibly pretend to.

“I didn’t even want a Mac in the first place,” he said irritably as he watched Merlin punch his email address into an iPad. “My sister talked me into it.”

“I’m very sad for you,” Merlin said absently, his words punctuated by the _tap tap tap_ of his fingertips against the glass screen. Arthur felt like he was going to have to start screaming to get this skinny nobody’s proper attention -- the attention Arthur _deserved_.

“Excuse me?” he said, slapping his hand against the counter.

“Oh, not about about that,” Merlin rushed out, though Arthur wasn’t sure he believed him. “You don’t seem to have purchased any kind of warranty with your laptop. Unfortunately, without AppleCare, you’re going to have to pay for the repairs.”

“What, for a bad hard drive?” Arthur asked, brows furrowing together while his cheeks got hot. “You mean to tell me _you_ supplied me with a bad computer, and _I_ have to pay to fix it?”

“Not quite, you see. Hard drives can go bad-”

“This is bullshit.” Arthur’s voice was projecting. He may have been causing a scene, but he didn’t care. “I go on your website to set up some rubbish appointment with some rubbish technician, but it makes me do my own troubleshooting first, as if that’s not what I’m paying you sort for-” he gestured to Merlin “-and go on to ignore me, sass me, _embarrass_ me, and then make me pay-”

“There a problem here?” It was the salesman from before. Arthur looked over his shoulder at him and took the break in his rant to catch his breath.

“Yes,” said Merlin, but Arthur rushed out,

“No, no, everything is fine,” as he pulled his wallet from his back pocket. “How much?”

 

Merlin was already having a bad day when the blonde-haired git came back to the store. He’d been late for work thanks to a delay in the Underground, and the shift since then had just droned on and on, all iPod after iPad, one after the other, all with the same fix -- reset the device, the problem disappears, and again, reset, done, and again, you’re welcome ma’am, and Merlin wanted to scream. He nearly did when his most recent transaction was punctuated with the arrival of said blonde prat from a few days ago.

Why couldn’t he come when Merlin wasn’t here, Merlin wondered desperately. Why couldn’t Elyan deal with this? Why did he even come to Merlin’s line at all? Was this some kind of gloatfest? Merlin was about to put on his best attempt at his retail face (which his boss, Leon, told him occasionally needed distinct work) when Arthur disarmed him with a smile.

Prat.

He had to be a bloody arse and attractive, didn’t he? Merlin scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, reveling in the irritation that welled up in his gut (and it was _definitely_ irritation, and most _certainly_ not butterflies).

“Hey, listen,” said Arthur, hands on the counter, blue eyes locked on Merlin’s. “I was a right ass the other day.”

“You can say that again,” Merlin muttered, stepping back to rest his hips on the countertop behind him. He never was very good at pretending not to be angry in general, and retail was certainly no exception.

“Yes, well, you weren’t exactly a ray of sunshine yourself, you know.” Ah. Conditionals.

“And here I thought you were starting out with an apology,” Merlin said, his voice flat. “You can’t treat people like that, you know. Do you yell at the customer service wherever you go?”

“What?” Arthur’s tone was incredulous and Merlin rolled his eyes. “It’s not like you’re not used to it, I’m sure.”

Merlin should have said something about _no human being should have to get used to it_ , or _what I’m accustomed to doesn’t excuse your behavior_ or even _fuck you_. But it all seemed a bit too heavy for his tastes, and anyway, he was too shocked at this man’s abhorrent honesty. So instead, he settled for the most mature response he could think of:

“As I’m sure you’re used to being alone.”

Arthur rolled his stupidly attractive eyes and said nothing.

“Alright. Start over,” Merlin said, once the guilt for not doing his job right began to sink in. He extended his hand. “I’m Merlin. Nice to meet you.”

He didn’t seem to trust it, but Arthur shook the hand all the same. “Arthur. Here to pick up my computer.”

“Great, Arthur.” He took his hand back and wiped his palm off on his shirt. “I’ll just look you up in the system…”

When Arthur left, Leon came on to tell him to take his break (“I think you need to take a breath,” he said, and Merlin agreed). He sat in the small kitchenette allowed to them, sulking over the cup of tea Gwaine brewed for him and feeling as cross as ever, even at his best friend.

“I just don’t understand why he had to be so arrogant about it,” he said, not for the first time, or the second time, or even the third. He sighed heavily, leaned back and looked at Gwaine with a heavy frown.

“Why you so hung up on this, mate?” he asked. “Can’t say I’m fond of his type, but you’ve had worse-”

“No, no, definitely not-”

“-And you haven’t complained.”

Merlin felt the _it’s not like you_ on the tip of Gwaine’s tongue, but he let the accusation hang in the air which made Merlin shift uncomfortably in his seat. He wanted to disagree, but with most things, they just rolled off his back. What about Arthur made his pratishness so unbearable?

“He was just so- so _cocky_ ,” he decided, holding his mug between his palms. “But anyway, you better get back on the floor before someone notices.”

“Your break’s over anyway, come back out with me, yeah?”

And Merlin did. He dumped the tea and rinsed the mug in the sink before rejoining Gwaine back out into the store. When he got back to his station, both Elyan and Lance looked at him with annoying pleased grins.

“What?” Merlin asked. “What’s that for?”

“Oh, nothing,” said Lance, which Elyan followed up with,

“Seems like someone’s got the hots for a certain blonde.”

“What? No.” Merlin said, voice sharp. His ears pinkened and he turned to face the store from his spot at the bar, but it was a slow time and no one was there which meant he couldn’t avoid the inevitable interrogation and accusations. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“‘Course not,” Gwaine said, in a voice that was completely unhelpful. Merlin shot him a glare. “We’re just saying, mate, you’re awfully obsessed. Haven’t stopped talking about him for two days, is all.” He pat Merlin on the back. “He is quite good-lookin’, no one’s faulting you for it.”

“Leon!” Merlin said from the bar. Their boss came walking over from his spot on the floor. “They’re being wildly inappropriate.”

Leon didn’t say much, he just managed a twitch of a smirk, before he told him, “No one likes a tattle-tale, Merlin,” and walked away.

 

“Honestly, Arthur, it’s twenty-fourteen,” Morgana said, her faux-affection dripping with smugness as she sat back on his couch and put her feet up on his coffee table next to her beer bottle. “I should be able to send a picture to your phone if I want to.” She slid down so she was slouching and kicked her shoes off onto the floor.

“Feet off the table,” he said, taking a seat in the armchair across the room as he popped open his own bottle. His sister may have been quite thin, but her personality took up a lot of space; it was best to let her sit by herself, lest he be pulled in and consumed by her altogether. “And anyway, I like my phone.” It wasn’t worth arguing actual logic anyhow; Morgana knew she could send him a picture just fine. She was just still trying to convert him to Apple everything.

 _He_ thought his phone was just fine. It was a Windows phone, one of the newest, and it may not have as many good apps as the iPhone yet, but it was a growing market. So he was told by the salesman at least, but up until he got his last computer he’d always used Windows and may or may not have been starving to be back in that world. Their father worked for a company that did marketing for video games; often he’d get a free Xbox or PC version of the game, and now he couldn’t play them on the go. It was good for Morgana, she didn’t play games too much, but she used her Mac to help with some of the product design and adwork.

Arthur reaped the benefits, mostly. He did some networking, some schmoozing, and a lot of playing. Since he had to be able to talk about the games to help sell them, it was nothing short of perfect.

“I’m just saying, it’d be easier if you just gave in.” She lifted her phone as if to taunt Arthur and he laughed, shaking his head.

“To be honest, I don’t think they’ll have me back at the store,” he said, swirling the beer in hand.

“Oh, Arthur. What have you done now?”

“Why is it always _me_?” he asked incredulously. “For your information, the so-called Genius at the bar was a complete idiot.” He took a swill of the beer and turned his eyes away, the insult not quite settling right on his tongue. Though, truth be told, the glance away was mostly in part to ignore the knowing smug grin he could _feel_ coming off Morgana.

“A good-looking idiot, though, is he?” she asked, and he knew he wasn’t getting out of this one.

After much arguing that was more like accusations and defensiveness than anything else, Morgana managed to convince Arthur to see to at least getting his phone to sync up with his laptop. The fix was easy, but she wasn’t quite sure how, so she said he would have to go back to the store.

Naturally, that meant he kept coming up with every excuse not to go back. Naturally, Morgana foresaw this and found it necessary to continue reminding him. _For the sake of our relationship, Arthur_ , she kept saying. _Communication is important for a healthy family, don’t do you think? Or do you not care about family?_

He hated how good she was at pulling his strings. Eventually he got a call from his father telling him that Morgana was in distress, something about bad phones and unreliable contact. It didn’t matter what Morgana told him, it seemed, so long as Arthur took care of it and _soon_.

That was why he decided to finally brave the store again. Macbook and Windows phone in hand, he crossed the threshold into the sterile white shop. when he saw that Merlin wasn’t at the Bar, he let out a huge sigh, but truth be told, it wasn’t relief. He had half-hoped to see Merlin again, and he didn’t understand why.

It was for the best, he decided as he approached the muscled bloke at the counter. When they made eye contact, however, the guy immediately hurried off and out of sight, almost as if he was hiding. Furrowing his brows, Arthur continued on to the darker fellow who was fussing over an iPad. He looked up, saw Arthur, and did the same; scurried away, without a word.

“What the…” Arthur whispered. He set his computer on the counter and looked around at the totally empty store -- apparently weekdays was a good time to come -- and wondered, _how does this place stay open with this kind of service?_

“Something I can help you with?”

Arthur turned back around to see Merlin standing before him, his lips pressed in a flat expression. Arthur felt about as done with this situation as Merlin looked.

“Your coworkers didn’t want to bother with me, did they?” Arthur asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Can you blame them?” Merlin grabbed Arthur’s laptop and opened it up before even asking any questions. Arthur somehow knew that was against procedure, but he chose not to say anything. “It turns on fine,” he said, spinning it back around.

“I know. That’s not why I’m here.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and set it on the counter. “I can’t figure out how to sync them up.”

There was more than just a beat of silence. Merlin looked down at the phone and pressed the button on the faceplate to bring up the Windows lock screen. Arthur realized suddenly how stupid the question was.

“My music and stuff. Apps. I bought some apps on iTunes.”

Merlin still didn’t say anything. He just pulled his hand (long, slender, and quite pretty really) back from the phone. Arthur licked his lips and shoved his hands in his pockets again, looking from Merlin, down to his phone, then back up at the man before him.

“You’re joking, right?” he asked, and Arthur let out an exasperated breath, shifting his weight impatiently.

“Look, I’m not that great with technology, okay?”

“I suppose not, are you? Or maybe you’re just stupid.” He put his hand on the phone again and slid it across the counter at Arthur. “If you were actually nice, I would help you, but policy is we don’t support Windows products. Also, you’re a prat.”

Arthur took in a long, slow breath through his nose and let it out carefully before he continued. He would be civil. He would be the bigger man. “So, what, then?” he demanded. “It’s a Mac computer, yeah? Support that.”

“No. Set up an appointment next time. Preferably when I’m not here. In the mean time, if you want to buy an iPhone, there’s Gwaine on the floor over th-”

“I didn’t come here to have something _sold_ to me,” Arthur snapped. How did this sharply-boned idiot get such a rise out of him? He clenched his jaw and took his phone, shoving it in his pocket. “I just want this to work, but I see _once again_ I made a bad choice by buying this piece of trash.” He snapped it shut and grabbed it off the counter.

Merlin _smirked_ at that. He put his hands on the counter and leaned forward, close enough for Arthur to see the reflection of light in his blue eyes, and he said to him, “That’s the first smart thing you’d said since I’ve known you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Arthur demanded, holding the laptop now at his hip.

“Meaning, if you didn’t buy that, I wouldn’t have to put up with you.” Arthur’s jaw tightened and his eyes roved Merlin’s sharp face. His lips, he noticed now that Merlin was much closer to him, were very, very plump. He bit his own lip unconsciously and let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. There was this excitement in his gut, which before he’d attributed to his anger at the situation. But he realized now, he was enjoying it and as he thought it, he thought, _Merlin’s flirting with me._

Suddenly, it became a game. Arthur wasn’t quite sure how to play, but he was sure he wanted to.

“You like it,” he said, unable to control the swelling grin at the corner of his own mouth. Instead of trying to, he flashed Merlin with his charming Pendragon smile, teeth and all.

Not that he expected Merlin to swoon in particular, but the look of sheer confusion on his face was a surprise.

“Why do they call you Merlin, anyway?” he asked. “Is it ‘cause you’re some kind of computer wizard?”

“It’s my name,” Merlin answered, and Arthur shifted.

“Oh. Well, _Mer_ lin. Think you could show me your phones?”

And Merlin did. It was definitely awkward at first. Merlin stepped out from behind the bar (it was weird to see him in the open, exposed and vulnerable) and brought Arthur over to the displays to show him the choices.

They all seemed alike to Arthur who was hard-pressed for questions to keep Merlin talking. He wasn’t even committed to buying one, really, but he was the one who brought it up and now he had to.

Pointing to the gold one, he asked, “What’s this one do different.”

“Shimmer gold,” came Merlin’s attempt at helpfulness.

“Great, thanks. I’m informed now.”

“It’s got a better camera, mate.” Ah. Arthur recognized that voice. It was the man who came over that time Arthur was yelling at Merlin. This store didn’t seem to have a huge variety of employees, he noted.

“Yeah, how so?” Arthur asked, voice flat now that an intruder was amongst them.

“Different technology.” He stepped close behind Merlin and reached around him with his chest pressed to Merlin’s back. Arthur’s lips tightened into a line and he pushed his hands back into his pockets, shifting his weight onto his toes.

“Interesting,” he said. Gwaine grabbed the phone and held it out to Arthur _around_ Merlin. There was an intimacy and familiarity to it Gwaine’s motions, like a pair of lovers together. Merlin wasn’t quite so smooth about it, however, He looked over his shoulder at Gwaine, brows pressed together.

“What are you doing?” he whispered, stepping out of the closeness. “Since when is this a thing?” Arthur turned his gaze to accommodate for privacy. He would be tempted to believe they were lovers, if it weren’t for Merlin’s totally frigid response to it. Still, the predatorial display made Arthur rather uncomfortable, because even if this guy was just showing off, there was still something there.

“Shh.” Gwaine shifted and rested a hand on Merlin’s shoulder, the gesture definitely less intimate but distinctly familiar. “You’ll thank me later.”

“I should get going,” said Arthur, readying to go with his laptop in hand.

“Right. Have a good day,” Merlin said flatly, and Arthur wasn’t sure that he meant it.

 

“What was that about, earlier?”

Merlin was angry. He was embarrassed, too, but that was besides the point. The stunt Gwaine pulled in front of Arthur left him -- what? Mortified? Actually, if he thought about it, Arthur seemed pretty mortified himself with how red his cheeks got and how quickly he left. It hit him all at once in the form of a bubbling laugh, rising out out of his gut and leaving him with a bit of a stupefied grin.

“Oh my god,” said Merlin, covering the laughs with his fingers. “That idiot fancies me, doesn’t he?”

“ _Bingo_ ,” came Gwaine’s response, punctuated with a fingerjab at Merlin’s chest. “Was proving my suspicious right, is all.” Merlin glared at Gwaine for it, though he didn’t think it very convincing. It pleased him to think that all that banter between them had been something of an actual flirtation.

“Well, I doubt he’ll be coming back now,” Merlin said, giving Gwaine’s shoulder a small push. “Now get back to work before Leon yells at us again.”

Merlin wasn’t long into forgetting about Arthur when the store got busy again. He was light with customers only trickling all the back to the Genius Bar, but the floor was speckled with rather a few customers here and there. His hands were full with customer product when he overheard his own name spoken. Looking up, he saw Gwaine talking to a fair-skinned, dark-haired woman in heels and skinny jeans. She threw her head back in some kind of flirtatious giggle as she touch her hand to Gwaine’s arm.

“So then it stopped working, right there.”

Oh. Right.

Merlin returned his attention to bright-eyed and totally clueless teenage girl before him, though he was sorry to do it. He wasn’t against a bit of eavesdropping, especially when his name was involved. But by the time the time he finished up and got the girl his laptop back, the woman Gwaine was speaking with was on her way out the door.

Gwaine glanced back at Merlin with a bit of a smug grin and a half-cocked brow. He flashed a bit of scrap paper at him and made a phone gesture with his hand -- he’d apparently gotten her number -- and Merlin laughed and rolled his eyes.

When Gwaine came to Merlin’s station later, it wasn’t without airs. He strutted on up with his chest out and ran a hand through his hair and flashed a toothy grin. He didn’t, however, begin to give details fast enough.

“Well?” Merlin asked, both hands flat on the counter. He leaned in, as if being closer might give him more info. “Who was that?”

“Morgana Pendragon,” said Gwaine, setting her number on the counter to lay it out as in proof. “The beloved sister of your dear Arthur Pendragon.”

“Oh, no.”

“Seems he told his sister over text that ‘the boy at the Apple stand is so into him.’ Apparently says you’re falling over yourself to get to him.” Merlin rolled his eyes and groaned. “The lovely lady Morgana wanted to come see how true it was. Don’t worry, I told her you’ve both been right arses at each other. She knows the feeling’s mutual.”

“What do you mean, mutual?” He wanted to contest it, but it made his stomach stupidly anxious to know that Arthur was talking about him like that. He didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or throw up.

“Meaning that you won’t stop grinning, and apparently you’re all he’s talked about this past week.”

“It’s true,” said Lancelot off to the side, elbows deep in a businessman’s Macbook. “You haven’t stopped grinning,” he added before returning to his own task.

Merlin flashed a hand over his face and forced his muscles to relax, but he could still feel himself smiling, especially after having it pointed out.

“Doesn’t mean he’s not a prat,” he muttered under his breath just before Gwaine laughed and returned to work.

The next day, Arthur came in again. It seemed when Morgana was in the day before, she went ahead and bought a phone for him, and now he needed help using it.

“I can’t get the screen to come on again,” he said, laying it on the bartop and sliding it across at Merlin.

He reached down and pressed the home button right on the front, and the screen illuminated immediately.

No words. He just raised his eyes to look at Arthur, who seemed to feign awe and excitement at the accomplishment by standing there dumbfounded at the simple push of a button. “How did you do that, so I know?” Arthur asked.

“I used basic human reasoning,” Merlin answered.

“Well, I suppose you _are_ a Genius…”

“Is that sarcasm?” Merlin’s voice piqued and he raised a brow. “Did you come here to make fun of me? At my place of work? Like an ass?” The last word came out guttural and angry, but Arthur was hardly put off by it.

“You can’t insult a customer like that, _Mer_ lin. Even if you do have those-” he gestured vaguely with his fingers in the air “- _cheekbones_.”

“Excuse you? Cheekbones?” He looked back at Gwaine who was chortling behind his hand. Bastard. Maybe Merlin was against eavesdropping afterall.

“Well anyway, since we got it back on, maybe you can show me how to change my wallpaper.”

“Oh god, are you kidding me?” Merlin spun it around on the counter so he could press the buttons while he explained. “Literally settings, wallpaper. Then pick something.”

“And where am I supposed to get these pictures?”

Merlin wanted the throttle him when he remembered Morgana. Arthur had described Merlin as _falling over himself_ to get to him. That kind of talk meant anything was fair game, he decided. So he went with it, and he told Arthur,

“If you’re asking to take a picture of me, the answer is no.”

“And why would I want that?”

Arthur leaned over, resting his weight on his elbows over the counter. As he raised his brows expectantly, his eyes roved Merlin up and down, not stopping until he’d done a full once-over. It gave Merlin chills; he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not, but he didn’t stop to think about it.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said as he placed his hands on the counter and leaned in so that he was actually over Arthur. “Could have something to do with how you’re practically falling over yourself to get to me.”

Arthur slapped his hands on the counter and stood upright. “My sister said she wouldn’t talk to you,” he said. The childishness made Merlin laugh; it was warm in his gut.

“She didn’t talk to me, but she did talk to Gwaine.” He shrugged. “You ever hear of the concept of the grapevine?”

“That’s rude.” A hand, shoved into Arthur’s pocket. He let one stay on the counter. He looked kind of slick like that, even with the ill-tempered look on his face. Something about the concentration in his anger was weirdly cute, especially the way he clenched his jaw.

“Yes, and you’re a paragon of manners.”

Merlin wasn’t sure why Arthur kept coming back, and he was on the cusp of being both extremely irritated or flattered about the whole thing. Sometimes it was both, in addition to being amused, as well as embarrassed.

It was stupid, how many awful excuses Arthur came up with to visit. He wondered quite frankly if he and Morgana compiled a list together of the dumbest tech questions he could come in with. Merlin remembered distinctly from one of the first return visits, there was a distinct boot print on the screen of Arthur’s phone. “I dropped it,” he said as he handed it over.

Then there was the iTunes problem. He couldn’t figure out how to manage his iPhone apps from his Macbook, but he’d neither plugged in the sync cable nor tried to connect it wirelessly. Next day, he came in to blame Merlin for the fact that his music _wouldn’t stop playing_ when he loaded a different window or app. Nevermind the fact that iTunes or the music player was still running and he most definitely hadn’t even tried to hit pause.

The attention may have been somewhat _cute_ if it weren’t for how often Arthur paid him horribly offensive compliments (“biggest ears I’ve ever seen,” or, “with eyelashes like those, who would need a girlfriend”) with a smile and a wink, as if he thought Merlin privileged to be deigned with any words at all.

And the worst of it was his coworkers! Even Lancelot and Percival kept betraying him, and Leon seemed to turn a blind eye at every instance. Arthur would trot in and everyone would do whatever they had to so that Merlin would be the only available associate.

“Leave,” Merlin said as he handed Arthur a brand new phone after to replace the one that had fallen in the sink while Arthur was brushing his teeth. “You’re not just embarrassing yourself, you’re embarrassing me, too.”

“Am I?” Arthur asked. He sounded pleased. Bloody git. “Well then maybe I’ll have to go to someone else for help.”

“Please!” Merlin wailed in desperation. “By all means, do!”

 

Merlin was wearing down. Arthur could tell. Slowly but surely, Merlin was definitely warming up to Arthur. He wasn’t sure how he could tell, exactly, he just knew it. His frequent visits were definitely working well for him.

Though, he had to admit, he wasn’t really sure what his own endgame was meant to be. Not that he gave it much thought, really, but if he did think about it, he would probably picture himself taking Merlin out on a date. That way they could continue bickering with each other over wine and soft music. Bickering with Merlin…

Well, it was fun, to say the least. The only person he really argued with so much was his sister Morgana, and as much as they pretended to hate each other, Morgana was one of the best friends he had. It was a quality he liked. And if he wasn’t mistaken, Merlin liked it too.

That was why his most recent visit was his most successful.

He came in with his phone and, totally oblivious to the sea of retail workers parting before him, he set it on the counter in front of Merlin.

“My biggest problem yet,” he said. “Pull up my contacts list and scroll through it.”

Merlin, with a put-upon pout, did as he was told (to his credit) then looked back up at Arthur when he didn’t seem to find anything wrong.

“And?”

“And, there’s no _Merlin_ in it.”

He put his hands on his hips and watched as Merlin’s adorable pout transformed into adorable confusion.

“Really? That’s how you ask for my number?” He pushed the phone back in Arthur’s direction. “Despite what you may think, you’re not our only customer. There’s a line behind you. You’re wasting company time.”

“I got AppleCare,” Arthur said, sliding the phone back to Merlin again. “You gotta fix the problem with my phone.”

“No.” The phone slid back toward Arthur.

“I’ll make a scene,” Arthur said. Toward Merlin.

“Is that a threat? I’m not charmed by you, Arthur Pendragon.” He picked up the phone and looked at it, as if thinking about it.

“It is a threat, Merlin… erm…”

“Yeah, smooth.” He unlocked the phone and began typing. “I’ll give you my number under the condition that you stop coming here.”

There it was. Arthur’s victory. His sweet reward after a long and dogged battle. He could practically hear the drums and trumpets and fiddles all playing in his honor. It was a noble war, won by a noble warrior.

“Agreed?” Merlin asked.

“Agreed!” Arthur said, maybe a bit too quickly.

He left the store with the prize in hand, though by the time he got home he realized he wasn’t sure what to do with it. Should he message him now? Wait a while? How long? He slouched down on his couch with his feet up on the coffee table, looking at his phone and feeling a bit discouraged.

Now that he didn’t have the excuse of tech support, he wasn’t really sure of what to say.

 

Merlin never told anyone he gave Arthur his number, not even Gwaine. That way, they wouldn’t be able to tease him for it when Arthur fell through. He was more bummed than he thought he would be, though, when Arthur’s texts seemed to be genuine help questions. Merlin didn’t mind giving answers to simple support questions usually (most of his answers consisted of either googling it or telling Arthur to google it) but he had worked himself up to liking Arthur.

It was unusual that he would give out his number. He kept to himself mostly, and generally ignored the people who flirted with him. But he felt some sort of affinity for Arthur starting at that third visit, right when the flirting became obvious to him.

Now, he thought, it must have been a joke to the handsome, blonde bloke who could have anyone he wanted. The clumsy, mouthy gangly guy from the tech store was probably just some kind of novelty, and he wondered now if he’d read too far into it.

“Been a while since your princess came in, hasn’t it?” Gwaine asked after about a week when Merlin was feeling particularly irritated about the whole thing. The store was closing up, so there were no customers, just associates and paperwork and managers.

“Pretty sure he’s not my princess, Gwaine.”

“Well, he’s certainly not your knight in shining armor,” said Leon as he walked past, his nose buried in an iPad.

“Thanks, Leon,” Merlin muttered, flinging an elastic at him from behind. He missed.

“Well, I’m sure he’ll be back.” Gwaine put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder, warm and supportive if a little condescending. “Tell you what. I’m going out tonight to meet some friends. Why don’t you come with us, get a drink?”

“Alright.” Merlin gave a nod and set to finish filing the last of his paperwork. “I’d like that yeah.”

The ‘friend’ Gwaine was meeting was Morgana, turns out. She walked in a little after Merlin and Gwaine had already settled in at the pub with their beers, a shorter curly-haired friend trailing behind her.

“You’re all against me,” Merlin said darkly, but Gwaine just laughed and got up to greet Morgana with a kiss on the cheek.

“You must be Merlin,” Morgana said as she took a seat.

“Said as if you don’t already know,” came Merlin’s reply, but it was washed out by the other girl’s question,

“Wait, you mean, _Merlin_ Merlin? Computer wizard Merlin? The one Arthur won’t shut up about?”

Merlin’s cheeks heated and he looked down at his beer.

“That’d be the one,” came Morgana’s voice. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Morgana, this is Gwen.”

Gwaine said something too, but it was too confusing with Gwen starting to speak again too and him opening his own mouth to speak. He ended up just shaking his head and laughing, throwing his hand up in defeat.

“Whatever it was is done, apparently, so you can disconnect me from that association,” he said, and Morgana gave him a largely put-upon pout. “I told him to stop coming in and he did.”

A little “oh!” escaped Gwen as she reached across the table to put a hand over Merlin’s. “Dear, Arthur adores you, he’s just a bit… constipated. Emotionally.”

Gwaine said nothing, but Merlin could feel the smugness radiating from beside him. Turns out Merlin hadn’t messed it up too badly after all.

“Well,” said Merlin. “Promise me you’ll give him a hard time about it.” He looked between Gwen and Morgana, both of whom appeared to be _delighted_.

 

 

A: Oi merlin

M: What?

A: I need help

M: Evidently

A: When i go to your contact there’s no pic

M: That’s because you don’t have one, you genius

A: How do I fix that

M: You don’t

A: Okay next question

A: I’ve got this text I want to send but I can’t

M: Sounds like a personal problem

A: …

M: Sigh. Okay. You want me to pretend. To send a message, you type in the textbox and hit send

A: Okay let me try it

A: Want to go to dinner with me?

[delay]

A: New problem

A: I can’t see your current expression

M: That is most definitely not a problem

A: See you tomorrow night, then?

M: You’re just gonna bother me until I say yes, right?

A: Yes.

M: Then I guess I have no choice.

 

When Arthur picked Merlin up, he tried to be a perfect gentleman. Good manners, that’s what his mother would have told him. At least, that’s what his father says his mother would have told him. So he wore a nice pair of slacks and a brushed blazer, and he gave Merlin flowers and opened doors for him. And he pulled out Merlin’s chair at the restaurant. And he picked out a nice wine for Merlin, and he complimented his nice coat and told him that he looked nice.

He even folded his napkin over his lap, and he barely spoke about much else than the weather. Merlin hardly even opened his mouth.

He was still a paragon of manners by the time their first course came around, but that was also the time when Arthur finally broke. “For christ’s sake,” he snapped, jabbing into the tiny salad with his fork. “What’s the point of these, anyway? I have to pretend I like it to be polite, but then this and the bread, they fill me up so I can’t enjoy my actual meal.”

A huge breath sounded and Arthur looked up to see Merlin shaking his head. “Thank _god_ ,” he said with so much gusto that Arthur almost felt insulted. “I was worried we couldn’t be pissy with each other anymore.”

“Oh, no, you’re a right moron to order the pasta here,” Arthur said with a grin, egged on by the relief in Merlin’s eyes. He felt a grin forming.

“My prince charming, say it again,” Merlin said through a hearty laugh, leaning over the table. Arthur couldn’t say he figured this guy out.

Arthur laughed, too. He said back and looked at Merlin, pointed cheekbones and wide ears and blue eyes and all, and he knew at once that he liked Merlin being a bit of a mystery.

“After this, let’s go get some drinks,” Arthur said.

“Trying to get me drunk, are you?”

Yes, was the answer. Arthur did try to get Merlin drunk, and he succeeded too. And a drunk Merlin was as friendly and as cutting as sober Merlin was crabby. They went together back to Arthur’s flat under the pretense that Arthur needed Merlin to ‘fix his computer’ though neither of them believed it, and so it seemed neither could they wait to drop the pretense. They were already making in the back of the cab before they even got there.

Merlin’s lips were plush and warm against Arthur’s. He was needier than Arthur expected, groaning against Arthur’s mouth to invite him in. By the time the cab stopped at his building, Arthur was tasting the back of Merlin’s teeth while a pulsing grew between his thighs.

Paying the driver was managed with little to no grace as the two drunken men stumbled out of the car, giggling insults at each other like children. They leaned on each other as they hurried up the stairs and finally slammed the door behind them.

The biggest surprise of the evening was when Arthur was thrust up against the door and forced into a hard, hungry kiss; their faces clashed and their teeth hit up against each other, but in their drunkenness, neither of them seemed too bothered by it.

Arthur was startled when Merlin’s hand grabbed onto his groin through his trousers. He gasped and broke the kiss, looking into Merlin’s eyes now.

“How’s this for customer service?” he asked as he gave Arthur one quick, teasing kiss before falling to his knees.

“God, Merlin, you’re ridiculous,” Arthur said as his hands instinctively went to rest on Merlin’s head. He licked his lips and looked down to watch Merlin as he unfastened Arthur’s belt and pulled out his half-hard cock. Before Arthur could say anything more, Merlin’s tongue was already sliding up the base while his lips encircled the head; Arthur could do little more than moan and rest his head back.

As he did so, he felt the warmth of Merlin’s mouth engulf his erection. He shuddered where he stood, already feeling weak-kneed. He licked his lips and turned his head to the side while the hot electricity of Merlin’s tongue tormented his tip, Merlin’s hand stroking along the shaft.

“Merlin, get up,” he said suddenly, grabbing Merlin by the forearms to pull him up. “Bedroom. We’re doing this in the bedroom like civilized adults.”

“Well excuse me, your highness,” he teased as he wiped the moisture off his lips.

They may have gotten there faster if it were for Merlin stopped every few steps to try and get Arthur going again, but once they were in, Arthur pushed Merlin on the bed and climbed on over him. Merlin scooted back on his elbows and tilted his head back. They were kissing again.

This time it was Arthur’s turn to surprise him with a hand on his cock. Merlin groaned and bucked his hips up while Arthur’s teeth tugged at the dark-haired idiot’s lower lip. He let it go and moved his lips up to kiss the tip of Merlin’s tantalizing cheekbone, and brought them down again in a line of kisses till his mouth was by Merlin’s ear.

“How far?” he whispered before taking the earlobe in his mouth to nibble on it.

“Let me suck it,” Merlin answered, and it wasn’t a request, really. Merlin dampened his own lips with his tongue and tilted his head to the side, giving Arthur’s mouth extra room, which he took full advantage of.

He buried his nose in the corner of Merlin’s neck, nipping at the flesh, wondering if he should send Merlin back to work with a mark on his neck for Gwaine to see. Or Lance, or whoever else those other guys were.

But Arthur eventually pulled himself off, and Merlin peeled himself out from under him. He went back down toward Arthur’s groin and grabbed onto his cock again, and this time, Arthur didn’t have the will or the want to stop him. He just spread his legs and sat back while Merlin, weight on one hand and his knees, curled in over him to suck his dick. Merlin’s tongue was a tease, the way it swirled around the head and lapped along the bottom.

It wasn’t long, especially as drunk as he was, to let Merlin finish him off like that. It made him weak and, ready, he let go inside of Merlin’s mouth.

He took a minute to regain his breath before it was Merlin’s turn. Fumbling and weak from the release, and slightly sobered from the high of orgasm being ripped away, he managed to get Merlin on his back again.

It was no work getting him hard; Merlin was already ready and sensitive to Arthur’s touch. He leaned over him, rested his forehead against Merlin’s, and jerked him off like that, faces touching and all. Merlin made some cute little noises, whimpers and gasps, and every now and then he tilted his chin up to steal a kiss from Arthur.

Right before he finished, he took in a breath and kissed Arthur hard and needy again, inviting him in. The moment Arthur gave it to him -- the moment his tongue entered Merlin’s mouth -- he came in Arthur’s hand.

When they were done, they both laid against each other for quite a while before Merlin rolled over, making Arthur the big spoon.

“Merlin?” he whispered, kissing the back of his still-clothed shoulder.

“Yeah?” he asked, voice hoarse and tired, as he lifted his head to look back over his shoulder at him.

“I still need help with my computer.”

“Oh, sod off.”


End file.
